童话故事

你穿着笔挺的黑色燕尾服
手插进口袋
身体斜靠着同样黑色的宾士
保持着同样的姿势
完美曲线的脸蛋
向着从屋里走出来的我
微了微笑


我穿着深蓝色晚礼服
踩着同色系的高跟鞋
波浪长发飘逸在后
你向着我走了过来
手缠上我的腰
把嘴压上我的唇边
带领我到车边
为我打开了门
一直手护着我的头
把我送进了车座
帮我系上安全带
关上门
看着你连带小跑步地走到驾驶者位置
上了车
启动引擎
一只手牵着我的手
一只手在驾驶盘上
看了我一眼
车走了
我一直看着他
今天的他
很帅


会是我吗
不知道
每次沉醉在虚幻世界里
想像着自己就是女主角
却往往被周围的人拉回现实
不可能 不可能
不可能会有这样的人
心里往往会动摇
但是
在我心灵最深处
还是住着一位天使
愿意相信还是会有这么一个人


我
许小云
在此许愿
愿美梦成真。。

再见

我真的很不服气
越想越不服气
凭什么你们替我拿主意
凭什么你们决定了事情
却不告诉我一声
你们决定了
却硬要我接受
以前的
可以撇得一干二净
算了
永远就这样吧


这个学期
我输了很多
输了什么
我不知道
就这样不知道过了十个星期
就要回家了
现在
我恨不得马上飞回家
以前的我
根本不想回家
因为我们在一起
我过得很开心
没有想家的感觉
现在
只想回家
因为
你们都拿走了
也没什么好留恋的
真的算了


我输了
对不起也谢谢
再见

三人行

十二月了
一年就要过去
很快很快
真的很快
真得很想回到过去
是不是女人真的一直会回想以前的事情
我是不是应该在以前
就不要三人行
不要想歪了
是朋友的三人行
或许一开始就错了
我们不应该太好
或许给你们不算好
可是对我而言却是不能取代的好
还记得我们一起并肩作战
一起取材
一起克服困难
一起想办法
困在地铁站随便逛逛
困在地铁里人挤人
你们保护着我尽量不让人靠近
我们开着玩笑
一点也不累
每次通宵赶工
总有我们的份
我们互相扶持
咬紧牙关撑到最后
希望做到最好


你问我这样对不对
我问你那样有没有错
你说你做错了
我安慰你
我说没什么
你还是自责
你现在还是这样吗
你比我犹豫
比我惆怅
你不和我说话
我真的伤心
但是
我接受你的决定
我相信你
你有自己的做事方法
其实我一点都不了解你


你真的对我很好
对我好到没话说
你说
我和他在一起
都只是在谈公事
还是你比较好吧
你很直接
你说的每一句话
都能逗得我好开心
有把我捧在手心的感觉
当你说要删除记忆的时候
是的
我确实很生气
不过算了
我接受
是不应该让你女朋友误会的


我们在一起
有太多太多的回忆
你们教会了我许多
我真的很珍惜
以前的总总
现在
见到面
却要像偷情一样
你们在东
我只能在西
我在北
你们只能在南
像同极的磁铁
你们不会怀念的吗
也许真的不会
就留给我吧
所有的回忆
我好好收藏着
你们用不到了
再也回不到从前
我永远不会再三人行了
我只想离开
现在

只是个孩子

想回到过去
看到了婴孩的微笑
听到了婴孩的哭泣声
也看到了妈妈的忙进忙出
也听到了妈妈的唠唠叨叨


真的想回到过去
想像婴孩一样只知道哭和笑
却不想妈妈睡了还一直挂念着
还要每三个小时起来泡奶
长牙时还会发高烧
需要无微不至的照顾
受保护的动物
妈妈每天都提心吊胆
怕失去了心里头最珍惜的
世界上独一无二的孩子


想回到过去也没办法
是时候长大
换我担任妈妈的角色
却往往还是回到了婴孩
果然阿
真不容易
高难度的角色扮演
在他们的心目中
我只是个孩子

傻瓜

我不想当傻瓜
可是
却偏偏让我当上了自己也不知道的傻瓜
真的傻透了
以前做了那么多事
帮了忙
一句谢谢也没有
都不知道为了什么
现在
说变就变
不再像以前了
就好像无所谓这样
一点都不珍惜
好像全都是理所当然的


我拼命的想维持
却换来冷言冷语
别人都没有这个念头
我却像傻瓜一样自己在团团转
也许真的是一厢情愿
我不想再当傻瓜
只想让一切的一切
像被风吹起被拉起的沙
不知道到了那个方向
永远不再回来
让我一个人静一静
我不想再管
也不要再说我想太多
我用尽了力气
我只想快乐..

给自己

许小云
对自己要有信心
不要让小小的挫折打败自己
没有什么事是解决不了的
不要委屈自己
已经作了己所能及的
就算想改变什么
也要两厢情愿
不想再管
只想让它随风而逝
就算将来
那么的一点点转变
哪怕我也接受不了
不要磨炼我的耐性


我不是圣人
也不是什么不同凡人
我只是许小云

Toughness

Its really long time that I did not write anymore
I dont know
everything changed without informing me
preparation of accepting the changes can only be done in the process of changing


It is tough for me
but I know it will be getting better for me as I am trying to get used to it
get used to something
is a way that help you to heal from the hurt faster
toughness is the only way for me to survive
everything is gonna be alright

Heart & Brain

I think the words that most coming out from my friends mouth is
"you understand or not"
"really"
I think I am getting blur
and always don't understand the situations
the most thing I have done after I came to study is
ask
"why like this"
"why like that"
why i always don't understand




+++++all the knowledge is come from asking why
~~~~~scientist is one of the most successful person who always ask why (like you)
haha^^
stupid jessie
                        from,meteorain




I wonder
what is heart
what is brain
I met plenty of problems this few days
but I know all the problems come from stress
people always ask
' ni de xin zai xiang shen me'
actually is it what is your heart is thinking bout
or brain
heart is only the thing that makes the bloods flow
so that lead you to survival
brain helps you to think
or you make the brain thinks
then is heart thinks or brain thinks
why when you nervous
the heartbeat will speed up
is because you think too much
and connected to your heart
and
people always ask
ask your heart
what do you want
is it actually what your heart want
because when people ask you that
then your brain start to think
what my heart want
what do you want


Heart and brain
the two important things that you cannot deny in your life
and cannot be separated..

After answering a call

I want to go home
I miss my parents
I just realize how important they are in my life after i came here
it could not be measured
I know my parents worry about me so much
they scared i think too much
I do not want them to worry about me
I want to be more independent
but I really cannot stand for what i have met nowadays


Sometimes
I really suffer when there is a task
my mum asks me to be relax all the time
sleep earlier
anything
I want to call back
but I scared
I cannot control my feelings
if I cry
they will sure worry
I miss them
even my bro
although he is always scolding me all the time
now I miss him too
they will be very busy with their business
as only my bro stays with them now
they must be very tired
and still need to worry about me
help me to solve problems
I am really such a useless daughter
life is tiring...

Worst

I had attended a study skill workshop today
it was about presentation
I really fear of presentation
as my English is really poor
I think this is the main reason that i am so scared to present
and also i do not have any idea what to talk about
next week i am going to present
in a group
but I am still not well prepared
lecturer asked us do not scared
she asked us what is the worst during presentation
then she said after you experienced this
you will feel its not dig deal anymore for your next presentation
as you already experienced the worst
when you compared


I know that
I know everything
but it is really different when you come to it
we will feel its not big deal only after we experienced it
but during the process
you still cannot deny that the feeling is really squeezing you
I wish myself could be professional when delivering a speech
I wish i wont be nervous until forgot my words
I wish i know how to answer when others ask me quetion
I wish i can do well
no matter what
lecturer said
I am only year one student
even she will nervous in public speaking
what about me and my classmates
its ok if you do not do well in this
at least
you learned...

12.51 a.m.

I am wondering what you guys are doing
sleeping
chatting
dreaming
or something else

When i was small
I thought that i was the only main character in life
I would always wondering what the other people were doing
while I was sleeping
while I was walking
while I was talking
why they were doing the other thing
why they would think like this
and like that
I only know what am i thinking
I wish to know about others thoughts
I want to know why he will think like that
why she will make the decision like that
how come people are different
now
actually I found out that all human beings have different behaviours and thoughts
If we do not have this
and all people are the same
is it interesting
not at all
If we know what are the other people thinking
is there still any secret
no

Sometimes we have been told somethings that you do not want to know
and sometimes we not have been told that somethings that you are willing to know
its weird
its like making a fool on you
but sometimes its better for you to do not know anything
the more you want to find out
the higher probability that you could not find out for your whole life
this is how human beings behave

Life is short
why don't we make it more interesting
why i still thinking of this and that
but do not want to change to a better cloud
I should be happy all the times
not worrying
life is short
I have to remind myself
I do not want to regret in the future when i am 30 or 40
I think it is really not feel that good if i reflect what have i done in the past at that time
I do not wan to regret...

11.57p.m.

I was talking with xin yu this afternoon
we recall what we had done in the past
they were really sweet enough and made me and xin yu had a sweet feeling at that moment

I felt like did not want to stand up and pay the bill
just to sit there and enjoy our memorable secondary school life
we had talked about everything which was happened in the previous years
we were wondering why time moved so fast
we were wondering why time changed people a lot
the relationships among the people are really complicated
even though we always argued about friend relationship before
we found that they were actually not that bad
but a memory full with happiness

I even appreciated we had those before as i have more happy memories now
even when we had the hard time of sitting for the uec and spm exam
we felt really suffer at that time
stress
sad
worried
but now we felt that they were actually not big deal but experience to gather us up
we studied together,discussed together,we shared
no matter what
when we talked about our memories

I really felt warm

When i back to home

I know

I need to continue my works again
assignment
learning journal
tutorial questions
thats why I don't like to stay at home
because I know
once I am home

I need to face those challenges again

I do not like it
everyday keep repeating the same things

I really feel tired on that
but when I think about you guys
you guys also doing the same thing
we are in the same space
so I should be more jian qiang

I am a graduate now
the time really moved in a high speed
feel like the time moved even faster than before I came here
now is already march

I really wish that the time can move back
no need much
three years enough for me

I will record down what we have done everyday
what are ours topics on that day
then, I will not regret at this moment...