Heart & Brain

I think the words that most coming out from my friends mouth is
"you understand or not"
"really"
I think I am getting blur
and always don't understand the situations
the most thing I have done after I came to study is
ask
"why like this"
"why like that"
why i always don't understand




+++++all the knowledge is come from asking why
~~~~~scientist is one of the most successful person who always ask why (like you)
haha^^
stupid jessie
                        from,meteorain




I wonder
what is heart
what is brain
I met plenty of problems this few days
but I know all the problems come from stress
people always ask
' ni de xin zai xiang shen me'
actually is it what is your heart is thinking bout
or brain
heart is only the thing that makes the bloods flow
so that lead you to survival
brain helps you to think
or you make the brain thinks
then is heart thinks or brain thinks
why when you nervous
the heartbeat will speed up
is because you think too much
and connected to your heart
and
people always ask
ask your heart
what do you want
is it actually what your heart want
because when people ask you that
then your brain start to think
what my heart want
what do you want


Heart and brain
the two important things that you cannot deny in your life
and cannot be separated..

After answering a call

I want to go home
I miss my parents
I just realize how important they are in my life after i came here
it could not be measured
I know my parents worry about me so much
they scared i think too much
I do not want them to worry about me
I want to be more independent
but I really cannot stand for what i have met nowadays


Sometimes
I really suffer when there is a task
my mum asks me to be relax all the time
sleep earlier
anything
I want to call back
but I scared
I cannot control my feelings
if I cry
they will sure worry
I miss them
even my bro
although he is always scolding me all the time
now I miss him too
they will be very busy with their business
as only my bro stays with them now
they must be very tired
and still need to worry about me
help me to solve problems
I am really such a useless daughter
life is tiring...

Worst

I had attended a study skill workshop today
it was about presentation
I really fear of presentation
as my English is really poor
I think this is the main reason that i am so scared to present
and also i do not have any idea what to talk about
next week i am going to present
in a group
but I am still not well prepared
lecturer asked us do not scared
she asked us what is the worst during presentation
then she said after you experienced this
you will feel its not dig deal anymore for your next presentation
as you already experienced the worst
when you compared


I know that
I know everything
but it is really different when you come to it
we will feel its not big deal only after we experienced it
but during the process
you still cannot deny that the feeling is really squeezing you
I wish myself could be professional when delivering a speech
I wish i wont be nervous until forgot my words
I wish i know how to answer when others ask me quetion
I wish i can do well
no matter what
lecturer said
I am only year one student
even she will nervous in public speaking
what about me and my classmates
its ok if you do not do well in this
at least
you learned...

12.51 a.m.

I am wondering what you guys are doing
sleeping
chatting
dreaming
or something else

When i was small
I thought that i was the only main character in life
I would always wondering what the other people were doing
while I was sleeping
while I was walking
while I was talking
why they were doing the other thing
why they would think like this
and like that
I only know what am i thinking
I wish to know about others thoughts
I want to know why he will think like that
why she will make the decision like that
how come people are different
now
actually I found out that all human beings have different behaviours and thoughts
If we do not have this
and all people are the same
is it interesting
not at all
If we know what are the other people thinking
is there still any secret
no

Sometimes we have been told somethings that you do not want to know
and sometimes we not have been told that somethings that you are willing to know
its weird
its like making a fool on you
but sometimes its better for you to do not know anything
the more you want to find out
the higher probability that you could not find out for your whole life
this is how human beings behave

Life is short
why don't we make it more interesting
why i still thinking of this and that
but do not want to change to a better cloud
I should be happy all the times
not worrying
life is short
I have to remind myself
I do not want to regret in the future when i am 30 or 40
I think it is really not feel that good if i reflect what have i done in the past at that time
I do not wan to regret...

11.57p.m.

I was talking with xin yu this afternoon
we recall what we had done in the past
they were really sweet enough and made me and xin yu had a sweet feeling at that moment

I felt like did not want to stand up and pay the bill
just to sit there and enjoy our memorable secondary school life
we had talked about everything which was happened in the previous years
we were wondering why time moved so fast
we were wondering why time changed people a lot
the relationships among the people are really complicated
even though we always argued about friend relationship before
we found that they were actually not that bad
but a memory full with happiness

I even appreciated we had those before as i have more happy memories now
even when we had the hard time of sitting for the uec and spm exam
we felt really suffer at that time
stress
sad
worried
but now we felt that they were actually not big deal but experience to gather us up
we studied together,discussed together,we shared
no matter what
when we talked about our memories

I really felt warm

When i back to home

I know

I need to continue my works again
assignment
learning journal
tutorial questions
thats why I don't like to stay at home
because I know
once I am home

I need to face those challenges again

I do not like it
everyday keep repeating the same things

I really feel tired on that
but when I think about you guys
you guys also doing the same thing
we are in the same space
so I should be more jian qiang

I am a graduate now
the time really moved in a high speed
feel like the time moved even faster than before I came here
now is already march

I really wish that the time can move back
no need much
three years enough for me

I will record down what we have done everyday
what are ours topics on that day
then, I will not regret at this moment...